Do You Really Need to Love Your Body? Understanding Body Neutrality vs Body Positivity
What does it mean to love your body? Is this even possible? Have you ever even stopped to consider how you speak to your body on a daily basis? For those with an eating disorder, thoughts around one’s body tend to be persistent and cause intense distress. However, it is not only those with an eating disorder that can struggle with negative self-image, or insecurities. To be human, is to have insecurities, and therefore the concept of body image is brought to the forefront for everyone. Body image is broken down into how one views themselves, how they feel others view them, and how it feels to be in their body.
The concept of “loving your body” can make people feel a variety of ways, whether that is frustrated, overwhelmed, confused, fearful, angry, excited, and or even curious. Some people may even say, “I like my body, but I would love it if I just changed this one thing,” and that one thing is ever evolving. Or the concept may feel farfetched, and you have the mindset, “for that person over there, they deserve to love their body, but I never could.” When considering that your body is the longest relationship you will ever have, might it be worth it to spend time on that relationship.
One popular term in mass media is body positivity, which is where you practice seeing the positive in all aspects of your body. If you wake up, look in the mirror thinking to yourself “eww I don’t like the way X looks.” With body positivity, one would be encouraged to reframe this by discussing how much one loves ‘X.’ This framework emphasizes appearance and that to find that loving relationship with your body, one must focus on increasing positive self-talk, and decreasing negative appraisals.
However, all relationships have ups and downs, and I have yet to meet anyone that is able to say they always love their body, or that they feel positive about their body all the time. Insecurity is natural, and it’s not fair to expect yourself to be positive at all times. It is okay to feel insecure, it is okay to wish things could look different, it is okay to feel frustrated, sad, mad, and any/all feelings. That being said, there are ways to strengthen our relationship with our body, while also allowing for a variety of emotions to be present, through a concept known as body neutrality.
Body neutrality looks towards the functionality of one’s body over the appearance itself. In the case before, if someone said “eww I don’t like the way X looks,” with using the body neutrality framework, a person would then identify what ‘X’ allows them to do in their daily life. Maybe X is someone’s arms, and a reframe could be that these arms help them hug the ones they love or engage in a hobby they enjoy. Maybe ‘X’ is someone’s face, and it could be reframed that their face contains their eyes, which help them see, it allows them to smile, and allows them to connect through facial reactions. This framework aims to move away from constant positivity and allows for a middle ground between positivity and negativity to be formed.
Body neutrality or body acceptance allows for the flexibility of all emotions. It’s the notion that today I don’t feel the most confident, and that’s okay, it does not mean I need to go out and change everything about myself. It also does not mean I have to smother my insecurities in positivity. Body positivity pushes loving all aspects of your body, and viewing it in a positive manner. Completely shifting from negative thoughts to positive ones. Going from I hate my stomach, to my body is great the way it is, I have no reason to dislike any part of it. While some may find this relieving, it can also suppress the grey area. The area where everything does not have to be all good things about my appearance, or all bad. Instead, I can find a piece of neutrality that might feel more doable. It can feel liberating to not have to find the positive in everything, but rather a smaller step to the middle, where neutrality lives. Which do you prefer? Which feels like a better fit in your life?
